MODERN ERA (2024-present)
A lot of what’s been happening in this modern age is put out in bits and pieces in these blog posts. I got hit with the old IDEA in 2024 and started picking at a novel. Got a good ways into the outline, too before I ran into an old trap of my own. Luckily, I had no plan to give into the sunken cost fallacy and push at it. Eventually, I did give it up, but I’ve talked about that on my monthly updates, and you can find them all in a collection here on Patreon or on my website feed.
Something was wrong outside writing, though. I didn’t realize at the time, but I was in a depressive episode that had been surrounding me for over a year by the time 2025 rolled around. I’ve lived with depression since the early 2000s (with 2005 or so being my worst episode) so I was no stranger to it. But this was a different source, one I’d never encountered before.
The company gave us an extra week of holiday paid time off at the end of the year, so we all got a half-day Christmas Eve and then didn’t return to work until the first business day after New Year’s. Some years, due to the way the days of the week fell, we could have like 2 weeks thanks to weekends and junk. I clocked out on Dec 24, 2024 (I believe, might have been the 23) and turned off my computer, planning to enjoy my holidays. Which I did.
Turning my work computer back on Jan 2 2025 was one of the worst moments of my current experience. That was the moment I realized that not only had I been depressed, I but I hadn’t been all during the holidays.
Thing is… I probably wouldn’t have done much about it but soldier on, if not for my manager at that job. See, at this point, I’d been nearly 5 years in the same position at work. The job had evolved, tasks changing, responsibilities growing and morphing, but it was the same job title, barely any significant pay changes other than “cost of living” which are really “half inflation rate increase” raises. I got bonuses and one hefty raise over those 5 years because I griped when the ENTIRE REST OF THE TEAM got title promotions and raises except for me, but… I’d never been in a single job that long. The bank for 3 years came closest. 7 years at the call center had had me in 3 different departments, all VASTLY different.
I was burned out on the actual job. Problem was, I’d been casually job hunting since 2023 with not even a single hit.
So on Jan 3, I believe, my manager Kenny pulled me in for a one-on-one just to reconnect after the holidays, to gear up for the new year. I confessed being burned out, and he asked me a serious question:
When’s the last time you took a vacation?
I was stunned. Working from home basically was a vacation for me. I’d gotten my job down to needing only about 2 hours of actual work most days. Less on some, more on some others. I was making nearly $60k a year doing surprisingly little. I was good at most of my job, but the things I wasn’t good at or didn’t like seemed to be the direction my tasks were heading. It was going to get worse. But working from home made me not really consider work as work. I was doing stuff at home. I’d play video games, do chores, cook, or whatever between meetings and tasks. A lot of my day was entertaining myself until the clock ran out. I used my sick time for mental health days, but my personal and vacation time were usually for conventions I did with my best friend or the occasional family vacation with them and their kids. I almost always carried over a few days or even a week of vacation time at the end of each year.
I never used that time for myself. Just for myself. One mental health day if I needed it, then back to the grind.
So from Jan 6-10, I used 5 precious vacation days to give myself an actual staycation at home. Well, I had the weekend before and after included in that.
Instant depression relief, knowing I didn’t have to log onto that damn computer the following Monday. On Jan 5, I had pretty much already decided that when I returned to work, I was going to put in my 2 week notice. I enjoyed the whole week of vacation knowing that.
I waited a little bit to do it, honestly, but I did by the end of January.
And oh, did I phone it in those last few weeks. I handed over my tasks to different members of the team, made guides and instructions, but like hell was I handing over the things I’d automated or any of my serious tips and tricks.
My last day there was Feb 14 2025. I started this Patreon not long after that, on March 10. Frankly, the rest is history.
As for my writing habits now… I’m struggling to make them real habits. It’s been improving, but only a little at a time. I’ve managed to make Mondays in general my serious writing day. I’m writing this on a Monday, in fact (June 15 2026). I get my social media posts about the week’s patron and free posts out, set up my posts for the next week (sometimes that involves writing a free post on the fly), and usually try to write another blog post if I can, just to try and prevent those on the fly ones. Any time and capacity for words I have left, I put toward fiction, be it a short, an exercise, or my current writing project.
I’m trying to get back to a point where if I have some free time, I’m at the computer writing. That’s my next habit to rebuild. It’s… not there yet. Maybe by the end of summer.
I’ve spent a long time writing this post… to the point I’m probably going to split it into a few posts to stretch it and make my effort worth the time to release, like I did with my outlining series of posts.
But right now, it’s just after 2pm, I’ve been working on the Patreon setup and all this for about 2 hours. I need to go have lunch, come back, and get to Subscription Life.
I’ll see you on the other side.
A lot of what’s been happening in this modern age is put out in bits and pieces in these blog posts. I got hit with the old IDEA in 2024 and started picking at a novel. Got a good ways into the outline, too before I ran into an old trap of my own. Luckily, I had no plan to give into the sunken cost fallacy and push at it. Eventually, I did give it up, but I’ve talked about that on my monthly updates, and you can find them all in a collection here on Patreon or on my website feed.
Something was wrong outside writing, though. I didn’t realize at the time, but I was in a depressive episode that had been surrounding me for over a year by the time 2025 rolled around. I’ve lived with depression since the early 2000s (with 2005 or so being my worst episode) so I was no stranger to it. But this was a different source, one I’d never encountered before.
The company gave us an extra week of holiday paid time off at the end of the year, so we all got a half-day Christmas Eve and then didn’t return to work until the first business day after New Year’s. Some years, due to the way the days of the week fell, we could have like 2 weeks thanks to weekends and junk. I clocked out on Dec 24, 2024 (I believe, might have been the 23) and turned off my computer, planning to enjoy my holidays. Which I did.
Turning my work computer back on Jan 2 2025 was one of the worst moments of my current experience. That was the moment I realized that not only had I been depressed, I but I hadn’t been all during the holidays.
Thing is… I probably wouldn’t have done much about it but soldier on, if not for my manager at that job. See, at this point, I’d been nearly 5 years in the same position at work. The job had evolved, tasks changing, responsibilities growing and morphing, but it was the same job title, barely any significant pay changes other than “cost of living” which are really “half inflation rate increase” raises. I got bonuses and one hefty raise over those 5 years because I griped when the ENTIRE REST OF THE TEAM got title promotions and raises except for me, but… I’d never been in a single job that long. The bank for 3 years came closest. 7 years at the call center had had me in 3 different departments, all VASTLY different.
I was burned out on the actual job. Problem was, I’d been casually job hunting since 2023 with not even a single hit.
So on Jan 3, I believe, my manager Kenny pulled me in for a one-on-one just to reconnect after the holidays, to gear up for the new year. I confessed being burned out, and he asked me a serious question:
When’s the last time you took a vacation?
I was stunned. Working from home basically was a vacation for me. I’d gotten my job down to needing only about 2 hours of actual work most days. Less on some, more on some others. I was making nearly $60k a year doing surprisingly little. I was good at most of my job, but the things I wasn’t good at or didn’t like seemed to be the direction my tasks were heading. It was going to get worse. But working from home made me not really consider work as work. I was doing stuff at home. I’d play video games, do chores, cook, or whatever between meetings and tasks. A lot of my day was entertaining myself until the clock ran out. I used my sick time for mental health days, but my personal and vacation time were usually for conventions I did with my best friend or the occasional family vacation with them and their kids. I almost always carried over a few days or even a week of vacation time at the end of each year.
I never used that time for myself. Just for myself. One mental health day if I needed it, then back to the grind.
So from Jan 6-10, I used 5 precious vacation days to give myself an actual staycation at home. Well, I had the weekend before and after included in that.
Instant depression relief, knowing I didn’t have to log onto that damn computer the following Monday. On Jan 5, I had pretty much already decided that when I returned to work, I was going to put in my 2 week notice. I enjoyed the whole week of vacation knowing that.
I waited a little bit to do it, honestly, but I did by the end of January.
And oh, did I phone it in those last few weeks. I handed over my tasks to different members of the team, made guides and instructions, but like hell was I handing over the things I’d automated or any of my serious tips and tricks.
My last day there was Feb 14 2025. I started this Patreon not long after that, on March 10. Frankly, the rest is history.
As for my writing habits now… I’m struggling to make them real habits. It’s been improving, but only a little at a time. I’ve managed to make Mondays in general my serious writing day. I’m writing this on a Monday, in fact (June 15 2026). I get my social media posts about the week’s patron and free posts out, set up my posts for the next week (sometimes that involves writing a free post on the fly), and usually try to write another blog post if I can, just to try and prevent those on the fly ones. Any time and capacity for words I have left, I put toward fiction, be it a short, an exercise, or my current writing project.
I’m trying to get back to a point where if I have some free time, I’m at the computer writing. That’s my next habit to rebuild. It’s… not there yet. Maybe by the end of summer.
I’ve spent a long time writing this post… to the point I’m probably going to split it into a few posts to stretch it and make my effort worth the time to release, like I did with my outlining series of posts.
But right now, it’s just after 2pm, I’ve been working on the Patreon setup and all this for about 2 hours. I need to go have lunch, come back, and get to Subscription Life.
I’ll see you on the other side.
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